Independence isn’t isolation… it’s connection

In a world obsessed with success, in all its shapes and shadows — we’re told to look a certain way, act a certain way, earn more, raise our children perfectly, and somehow survive in the process.

The difference between “making it” and feeling “enough” often feels like ticking a long list of invisible boxes.

For years, I didn’t think much about those boxes. I was comfortable being invisible — the supporting partner, the mum trying to do everything right.

Then everything changed.
Suddenly, I was alone.
And I had to put myself first.

It’s been the hardest thing I’ve done, standing alone with no defined purpose, forced to be seen when I wanted nothing more than to hide.

Without someone to stand behind, my life felt exposed… almost like a cruel joke. My identity had been stripped away. I couldn’t mask my insecurities anymore; they were out in the open.

Independence, I learned, isn’t always glamorous. To be independent meant I was more visible than ever and not in all the ways I’d hoped.

I made poor choices that only amplified that visibility.
I chased dreams with no idea how to ground them in reality.
I spent money for strangers to tell me my dreams were possible, when deep down, I knew I was still in my own way.

Work didn’t define me.
My partner didn’t define me.
Even motherhood didn’t hide the fact that I had no clear sense of self.

No matter how much I consumed, books, courses, advice — I only felt more lost.

How often do we attach our value to the external — the job, the relationship, the lifestyle — without stopping to ask:
Who am I, really?
Am I living in alignment with my soul… or just society’s script?

The truth is, aligning with your soul is harder than following the crowd.
It’s confronting.
It will break you open — again and again.

Sometimes, it takes a life shattering moment to start asking deeper questions. But too often, we stay stuck in the loop of searching outside ourselves for something or someone to make us whole again.

And yes — I’ve read all the books, done the “inner work,” learned that wholeness comes from within.

But I also believe we’re wired for connection.
We are still tribal beings, even in a modern world.

That feeling of belonging, whether it’s in a sports team, a women’s circle, or a workplace — comes from being part of something bigger than ourselves.

Maybe the answer is this:
To feel truly independent… we must also be willing to depend on each other.